What is Reality?
by Muirnin
Summary: What happens when an accident causes Kurt to end up with 2 years worth of Memories of the future? When we really question the reality of who and ... what we are ...


_§____**What is Reality? **__§_

By Muirnin Cocan

_**Disclaimer: **As this is part of the NaNoWriMo project I will just say that the disclaimer is part of the first chapter_

_**Author's Note: **My name is Muirnin Cocan and I am a recognized review addict whore …** Please feed my addiction! **Ok, sorry I'm trying not to let my addiction and my uncontrollable need to be recognized for the work I do get in the way … This drabble came to me when I was writing a new chapter for Spin the Bottle (of all things) it begs to wonder … What is Reality? And How does time factor into our decisions … and if time travel is really real … (by the way I am a HUGE HUGE Doctor Who Fan … **The Day of the Doctor** rocked! HARD) so anyway this is what happens when you wake up at 3:30 am on Thanksgiving with nothing to do but write … _

_**2nd AN**: I decided not to post this immediately on Thanksgiving and reread it … and it is a good thing I did … it reads like it had been written in another language and translated by Google chrome … so guys do me a favor … if you see any grammatical or spelling errors please let me know … I also found out that my copy of Office 2007 for whatever reason is not doing spell check properly … I really am not looking forward to reinstalling it! So Again … still no beta trying to get as much written by end of month … and I will probably post a bunch today and tomorrow … or not!_

What is Reality?

The beeping of the monitor's in the hospital room were the only sound as both Blaine and Rachel kept a silent vigil at the bed side of one Mr Kurt Hummel.

He had been racing to get to the Spotlight Diner to catch his shift when he was knocked down by a bike messenger who was not paying attention to where he was going by riding on the sidewalk rather than stay on the streets where he was supposed to stay. Kurt had struck his head rather hard when he finally stopped flying through the air.

That had been 3 days ago and he still hadn't regained consciousness. Rachel and Blaine had barely left his side since he had been admitted. Sam had taken Rachel's shifts at the diner and Santana had explained to Gunther about Kurt.

The sudden sound of stirring from the bed caused Rachel and Blaine to look at the bed. Kurt was suddenly coming too and both were so pleased. Rachel stood up to head towards the door to get a nurse to come in and check on Kurt.

"Rachel …" Kurt's tired and worn voice called out "Rachel" He repeated.

Rachel immediately went to Kurt's side and took his hand. "I'm here … so's Blaine we have been so worried about you" she prattled on taking hold of his hand with both hands. Rachel was so relieved that he was awake and alive …

"Honey? … you aren't pregnant anymore … Oh please tell me I didn't miss the birth of our baby …" Kurt said sincerely concerned that he had miss something so very important and so essential for their marriage and then suddenly overcome from strange emotions that as he spoke he had tears running down his cheeks … his fingers running over her hands. "I'm so sorry … er … sweetheart why aren't you wearing your wedding rings … what's going on?" Kurt said by this time completely agitated.

"My wedding rings? Um … Oh look the doctor is here." Rachel said quickly saying a silent thank you to the powers on high that Blaine had thought to go get some help.

"Mr Hummel I am so glad to see you awake. I am Dr Meredith Phillips … I understand that you have a few questions that you would like to have answered. Let me just check you out first and then we will answer your questions …" turning to Rachel and Blaine she added "If you could just wait out in the waiting room I will come and get you when we are done."

After Rachel and Blaine left the room Dr Phillips looked at Kurt and said "Alright Mr Hummel, what exactly do you remember as to why you are here?"

"I had just gotten a call from my wife … she's the gorgeous brunette that was just in here … she'd just told me that her water broke, and was on her way to the hospital because she'd gone into labor with our first child and as I was just coming up the stairs from the subway … a bike messenger ran into me on the sidewalk … I flew backwards and felt my head hit the ground and that's the last thing I remember." Kurt said quietly "Dr Do you know what my wife had? Was it a boy or a girl?" he added excitedly.

"I know you are excited about that but let's finish my questions first alright then I will have Rachel come back in to speak to you. Do you remember what date it is?" Dr Phillips asked writing a lot of notes.

"Well I'm not sure how long I was out for but I remember that it was September 23rd when my wife called me." Kurt responded.

The questions went on for a few a bit longer which included to answer honest evaluations of how he felt about certain people … there was no hesitation in any of his answers. "Ok Mr. Hummel I am going to go speak to Rachel and Blaine and then they will be back."

"Alright but first I need to know why in the hell is Blaine here?" Kurt asked angrily.

"All in good time … Just rest for a bit." Dr Phillips finished saying.

Walking towards the waiting room Dr Phillips saw two people who obviously loved the patient but both individuals were reacting so differently.

The young woman … the one named Rachel was extremely agitated, she kept pacing around … periodically checking her watch then she would look at the nurses station. She actually looked like someone who was going through withdrawls of some sort …

The other person was a young man named Blaine and he just sat in the chair holding a coffee cup and had the saddest expression on his face. He looked like his puppy had just died … and was awaiting even worse news than that.

Dr Phillips knew from talking to them in the past few days that Kurt was engaged to Blaine and Rachel was Kurt's roomate and best friend. "Would you both come with me please?"

Entering Dr Phillips' office the pair of friends sat down and waited for the doctor to respond. "How's Kurt? What's wrong with him Dr Phillips … is he alright?" Rachel asked immediately.

"I'll get to that … Thank you both for agreeing to talk to me away from anyone else … we have a bit of a situation …"

"What kind of situation Dr?" Blaine asked with great concern.

"When can we see him? Kurt's going to be alright isn't he Dr?" Rachel asked … she also had a great deal of concern but Dr Phillips' observation was that Rachel was on the verge of breaking down if there was not better news.

"Mr Hummel … er … Kurt … he'll be fine … however as you know he was asking questions of you Rachel that didn't match with what was going on right now." Dr Phillips looked down at her notes

"According to his recollection the date is September 26th 2015 … He and Rachel have been married for about a year and a half and were married on March 16th 2014. You were expecting your first child and had just called him to let him know that you were in labor so he had left work and had been rushing to the hospital to be with you … when he got into his accident … he had just reached the sidewalk after running up the stairs from the subway and got hit by a bike messenger. The last thing he remembered was that he flew back through the air and ended up hitting his head. That was 3 days ago to him."

"You're seriously saying that Kurt believes that he and I are married?" Rachel asked in shock "But what about Blaine?"

"I had asked him general questions about the people who had visited in the last couple of days just to get an idea of how he felt about them and his reaction to them. His reaction to Blaine was not … um … a favorable one … when I asked him further about it he said that and I quote … 'I was so in love with him but now … I hate him … when Blaine cheated on me again - the only emotion I will ever have left for Blaine is hatred … because that was it … I was through with him forever' … unquote. I'm sorry Blaine … but in Kurt's mind his reality is a little less than two years from now and you aren't together anymore. He was genuinely angry that you were present in his hospital room."

"Dr Phillips … Kurt and I aren't a couple … he's my best friend and I haven't been in a relationship since before his brother died … and besides that … why in the hell would he have us married … and on the anniversary of Finn's death even!" Rachel asked.

"He actually answered that as well … he told a very interesting story … apparently the Saturday after your birthday next month … you both threw a party … you were all gathered together at the Loft having a combination party celebrating you birthday, the December Solstice and a huge Christmas party … he even mentioned that you and he had already celebrated Hanukkah since the first day of Hanukkah was on Thanksgiving … even having a menorah that you both lit for the festival of lights" Dr Phillips answered.

"Did he mention who all was at this party?" Blaine asked …

While half hazardly listening … Rachel sat there in shock about the fact that Kurt actually at least in his mind participated in a religious event. She knew that he had gone to church with Mercedes once when his dad was in the hospital … and after David had tried to commit suicide he had gone to a meeting of the God Squad …

"Apparently there was a number of people from your home town that had come to New York just for the party … both of Rachel's dads … Kurts folks … her mother Shelby … also Shelby's daughter Beth … well I'll just read the list of names he gave … Artie and his girlfriend Kitty … Quinn … Puck … Lauren … Mercedes … Brittany and Sam … Santana and her girlfriend Dani … Elliott along with the rest of your band _Pamela Lansbury_ was performing during the party … Mr Schuester and his wife Emma … Unique … Tina and Mike … Isabella and Cassandra … there was a few other people from and NYADA that had made appearances … basically all the original Glee Club members a few of the Football Players as well as some of the Cheerios? … but according to Kurt the biggest shock for him was when Coach Sylvester came to the loft said some confusing things and then added a few disparaging remarks about the 'Lima Express' and about your apartment … she then drank a glass of champagne then left. Of course both of you were there but apparently Rachel … from how Kurt tells it … you were hiding a secret and were a lot depressed because something happened with your production of _Funny Girl_ and everyone had just found out."

"Oh shit … no no no no" Rachel said burying her head in her hands.

"Rach … what's wrong?" Blaine asked concerned putting his arm around her shoulders as she rocked in abject horror.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out in frustration she responded "I'm not going to be the lead anymore on Broadway in _Funny Girl_ … at least not unless something happens to Jennifer Lawrence … the person who they recast the part with … I was recast as the understudy since Paolo San Pablo didn't feel that I had enough maturity for the part … I sort of told him off and said that even though he is a marvelous actor I didn't feel that he was right for the part of Nicky … Rupert took a bit of offense to that since he's the director and decided to cast someone else of course it didn't hurt that the person they cast – Jennifer Lawrence … is a much bigger name then Rachel Berry … I mean seriously can she even sing?"

"But you've been going to rehearsals every day …" then as if the fog lifted he said "No wonder you've still been working at the diner." Blaine said figuring out his own puzzle to the situation.

Through the sound of her voice break from controlled sobs "I've been afraid to tell Kurt about it … he was so proud of me and I didn't want to disappoint him … it happened just after we had our first Pamela Lansbury performance" Rachel said "I figured if I just kept working hard like I have been and getting more involved with the band … everything would work out."

"Well one thing I noticed about Mr Hummel's memory is that it was very detailed and very specific about details. He also was very excited about the possibility of a son or daughter and he also is also … very much in love with the memory of his wife." Dr Phillips said then after letting that statement settle a bit added ... "Now as to why you apparently married on the anniversary of his brother's death … He said that you both had a great amount of love for Finn and to have your wedding on the anniversary of his death was a way to honor his memory by as Kurt said 'having something joyful and pure to celebrate' … also he said that when you both had stopped hiding from your feelings for each other it felt foolish to have a long engagement. He kept telling me repeatedly that he loves you very much Rachel … and given the amount of distress you are showing … I'm going to take a leap of logic here and guess that you are in love him as well."

"But Kurt is my best friend … he's gay … and besides I'm not ready for a relationship …" Rachel argued.

"Rach … You've said that before. Let _me_ ask you this … how do _you_ feel about Kurt …" Blaine asked Rachel.

"Blaine … you know how I feel about Kurt … but it doesn't matter …" Rachel said.

"Yes it does … and I need you to speak it out loud … Do you love Kurt?"

Rachel had her head down … tears dripping down her cheeks … struggling with her inner resistance to admit to her true feelings for Kurt … finally she nodded "yes I love him I have for awhile but I want him happy more than I want happiness myself."

"That's not fair for you Rachel …" Dr Phillips said.

"When you love something … let it go … if it comes back it was yours … if it doesn't in never was …" Rachel quoted then continued "Besides, after Brody I found I lost the trust I had in everyone and I don't trust anyone but Kurt … who I know will always steer me into the right direction."

"This may be true … however, its not fair to you … you really need to learn to trust if nobody else … learn to trust yourself." Dr Phillips was watching as Rachel had listened and saw her just shake her head no …

"When can we go see Kurt?" Rachel had asked.

"Well the hardest part is reawakening Kurt to the current time frame and that is going to be very difficult because he's not going to be able to trust either due to his memories of the future. I am going to allow one of you to explain the current timeline to him … however I will be standing by in case he gets more agitated then he already is and needs some sort of tranquilizer … it is my belief that Rachel you should be the one who explains everything … he trusts you no matter what time line we are talking about … his mental state won't believe anything that Blaine says to him." Dr Phillips explained.

"I think … er … Would it be better if … I didn't go in there?" Blaine asked fearful that the love of his life would never allow him back in …

"That may be for the best Blaine" Dr Phillips agreed.

"Alright … Rachel … make sure he knows that I love him …" Blaine said.

Rachel nodded and then followed the doctor back into the room where Kurt was resting. When Kurt saw the door open he watched as the doctor came in followed by the one person he was anxious to see.

"Rachel my love what's going on around here?" Kurt pleaded as he reached his had out to the woman he thought of as his wife.

Rachel walked over and took hold of Kurt's hand and sat at his side. "Hi Kurt … it's so good to see you awake and talking. Kurt I understand that you think that the date is September 26, 2015 … however it's not We are still in November of 2013 … in fact it's actually Thanksgiving Day … the 28th … you are still engaged to Blaine and he still loves you very much …"

"No … that's not possible … I remember our wedding … I remember the first time we kissed … I remember the first time we made love …" Kurt implored looking at the shocked expression on Rachel's beautiful face. "How can I be engaged to that cheat and liar … I am so much in love with you I feel naked without you in my life! You love me as well Rachel … we're soul mates." The tears started to fill Kurt's eyes and drop down to his cheeks.

"Oh Kurt honey, I do love you … but Kurt at this time in our reality … we're just best friends and you're engaged to Blaine and still love him very much." Rachel explained.

"If this is November … we will really kiss for the very first time on Christmas Day … we will make love for the first time on New Years Eve … and we're very sober for both of those events … it was more special and beautiful than anything I had ever imagined …" Kurt continued to implore. He took his other hand and placed it against the side of Rachel's face "You are more beautiful then ever …"

Rachel's eyes closed as she felt herself unconsciously melt into Kurt's hand as it caressed the side of her face … revelling in the sudden feel of being whole finally … a feeling that she had never felt before.

Suddenly she realized what she was doing and said "Kurt … we can't …" the tears started to drip down her face "I …"

Kurt held onto her face to have her look at him "Can you honestly tell me you don't have feelings for me … Can you honestly tell me you don't love me … Or even tell me that I don't complete you … because you damn sure do complete me … and I believe that I complete you as well" his beautiful glasz eyes stared into the chocolate orbs of the woman he loved. "You say that this reality hasn't happened the way my memory tells … I say its just a preview of the everlasting joy and passion yet to come … I am irrevokably in love with you Rachel Barbra Berry and I love you more than life itself and if by some slim miracle I have somehow come to this realization sooner rather than later as I did in my memory all the better."

Rachel's entire being was enveloped in the love that Kurt was professing and try as she might there was no denying her feelings or the love that she felt for her best friend. "I can't tell you any of that … but I don't know what to do? Ever since before Finn died … I have withheld any romantic feelings for you … because I know it's a hopeless cause since you're gay … but also because you're my best friend … and I don't want to destroy the friendship that we've shared. Kurt … I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I lost our friendship … it nearly destroyed me when we weren't talking during our senior year but that would be nothing compared to what it would be now. I've lost Finn … I can't bear it if I loose you too …"

"I have no desire to destroy you Rachel … my only dream these days is to love you for the rest of our lives … I have two years of memories and emotions that show me that we are possible … we are even more than that … we are inevitable … and I cannot wait until we can be married again for real and start having children and building a family of our own … I know it feels like this is rushing things but I can't live without you in my life anymore" said Kurt.

"Well be that as it may … we do have one thing that needs to be dealt with before we can progress to anywhere …" Rachel stated giving into the growing passion that she felt for this man who was her best friend.

"Yeah I know … you might as well bring him in here … but stand by I may try and beat him up …" Kurt said.

"Kurt … Blaine knows how to box … you know how to sew … big difference …" Rachel countered. "Just be careful … I'll go and get him right now"

Rachel got up and wandered out of the room to go retrieve Blaine. While they were gone Dr Phillips had a couple more questions for Kurt.

"Do you remember being in the hospital before you and Rachel got together?" Dr Phillips asked puzzled by the fact that they were changing the history in Kurt's brain.

"There was a hospital involved but it was Rachel that ended up in the hospital … just before Christmas Eve … she came too on Christmas Day and that was when we kissed for the first time. The only difference is now … it's a month earlier than what it was and according to what you have said … Blaine hasn't recheated on me yet … it still doesn't change the fact that I am in love with Rachel and even though it's going to hurt him … I can't let it possibly happen again" Kurt answered.

The door opened and Rachel and Blaine walked in … Blaine eyes were rimmed red from apparent tears. "Hi Kurt …" Blaine said carefully. "Rachel said that you are aware that it is two years in your past …"

"That's correct … and the only difference is that in my memory you have betrayed me for a second time … even if you have only betrayed me once in your memory. I also have the memory of how that hurt me and I can't be hurt by you again." Kurt said as he took off his engagement ring and handed it back to Blaine. "I'm sorry Blaine but I can't allow you to hurt me again in the future."

The look of resolve on Kurt's countenance was absolute … there was no changing his mind about this decision. After Blaine took the ring back he mumbled a quick good bye to both Rachel and Kurt and with one last glance at Kurt he turned and left the room.

Rachel immediately went back to the side of the bed next to where Kurt still lay. Kurt grabbed hold of her hand and brought it up to his lips. "Doctor when will I be allowed to go home?" Kurt asked.

"We just have to wait for a couple of the tests to come back and then we can go ahead and release you. I'll leave you two alone for a few minutes while I go check on the tests results." Dr Phillips said before she too had left the room.

"Can I get you anything Kurt?" Rachel asked suddenly very self-conscious of the fact that she was alone in the room with Kurt.

"Could you hand me my robe and help me stand up?" Kurt asked

"Um … yeah I can … are you sure your up for this?" Rachel asked as she helped him swing his legs over to the side of the bed.

"Absolutely … Help me with this robe please?" Kurt asked as he felt the draft on his backside.

Helping with the hospital robe to get him covered … Kurt settled his feet on the ground and then with a hand for balance from Rachel stood up in front of her. Even barefooted he was slightly taller than her so he put a hand behind her neck and leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss on her quivering lips. Rachel's eyes closed the moment that they touched and she felt a wave of emotion envelope her.

"So this is what you were feeling … this sense of completeness you said you felt" Rachel asked Kurt after they broke the first kiss.

"Yes but more so … when this originally happened in my memory it was you who had been injured and I was terrified of losing you so soon after Blaines betrayal … but when we kissed and suddenly it felt like a light switch had gone on and I suddenly was whole again … and just now that completeness resumed it self … completeness … that's the only word I can think of to sum up how you make me feel … other than saying that a part of me had been missing and then you brought it back to me …" Kurt said tenderly holding Rachel close in his arms.

Feeling the warmth of Kurt's arms around her Rachel released feelings that she had been holding on to and welcomed the new feelings that she was experiencing. "Kurt you know how much I love you … I never want to be without you … and I will marry you … just name the time and the place …"

Kurt kissed her again deeply and applied as much passion as he could while keeping them on their feet … not an easy task as they were over come with the amount of emotions this day had developed.

"I just want to get home with you … I'm sure Santana is going to flip out at this latest development." Rachel said.

"We could just not tell her … we could elope just the two of us and then at Christmas tell everyone the news …" the twinkle in Kurt's eyes told Rachel that he was serious about this.

"You honestly think we could get away with that? I mean seriously … Santana doesn't sleep at Dani's place every night … so she would notice if we were sleeping in the same room suddenly." Rachel said then added "Just name the time and the place and we are there …"

"Well I do need to get you a ring …" Kurt commented

"I don't care if it's a 5 dollar band from the street vendor … I'm marrying you not the ring." Rachel said.

"That may well be but I would like people to see the ring and know that your husband loves you very much" Kurt smiled.

Dr Phillips came back in along with the nurse "We have your release papers here Mr Hummel … I'm glad to see you on your feet … Just remember to take it easy for the next few days and I will leave my contact information if you need to ask any questions."

"Thank you Doctor … we appreciate everything you did for us … will we have a difficult time getting a cab downstairs?" Rachel asked while Kurt took his clothing into the restroom and changed.

"We have a cab stop out front and there is usually a cab available immediately … if not there is a call box right there. These papers just need to be reviewed and signed then he is free to go …" Dr Phillips said.

When Kurt came out he was as impecably dressed as usual and he immediately signed the paperwork but was forced to get into a wheelchair for the ride out of the building holding tight to Rachel's hand the entire way. Taking the cab back to their apartment in Bushwick they began making plans for their future …

**DECEMBER 21, 2013**

Rachel had just finished putting the final touches on her holiday buffet … she looked down at the pair of rings on her left hand and smiled. While she had tried to keep Kurt from spending too much money he had insisted on the rings that she now wore … Kurt had wanted to go to Tiffany's to purchase a specific white gold wedding set that Kurt had told her looked identical to the set that he had bought for her in his memory … but then he remembered where he had gotten that particular set and went to his 'treasure chest' that he had been given by his dad after he had moved to New York City and pulled out his mother's wedding ring set.

Kurt had found a matching wedding band and they gave the appearance to all as nothing more than what they were … but this party would be the first time that many would see them as a newly married couple.

When Santana had come home the first time after the couple had eloped she hadn't noticed any change until bedtime when they both went into the room that had once belonged only to Kurt. She had thought they were going to just talk the night away like they were known to do before but then her psychic mexican third eye went bonkers and she … discovered the once best friends were now suddenly quite abit more than that.

The next morning when they emerged from their room Santana was there to demand some answers … and after explaining the details of the accident, the future memory and alas their secret elopement they had to demand from Santana secrecy until after the party … She agreed especially since she would now be given a real bedroom of her own aka Rachel's old room which had the access to the fire escape ie: the Patio …

The party was a success … when the Berry's and the Hummels arrived and found out about their children getting married it had come as an added surprise. When Burt saw the rings that Rachel wore he came over and gave her a loving hug … knowing that his son Kurt would never have used those rings unless the person he married was someone he loved very much.

The rest of the guests were all surprised about the new level of the relationship going on in the loft … When Mercedes saw the wedding rings on Rachel's finger and then saw the ring on Kurt's finger she was in complete shock and dragged Kurt off to a corner to interrogate him causing Rachel to laugh until she was cornered by Quinn and Puck.

When those interviews had finished both Rachel and Kurt went to their home made stage and got everyone's attention.

"Alright, alright … everyone settle down a bit …" Kurt started over the microphone he had in front of him "Now for some explainations … Rachel and I got married on December 1st … No it wasn't because she was pregnant … at least not at the time we got married … but we will let everyone know when that becomes the case."

"Just so that you all understand what happened … Kurt broke off his engagement to Blaine after he came out of a coma from an accident involving a bike messenger and the sidewalk jumping up and slugging him in the back of his head … when he came to he had nearly 2 years of memories that had not happened yet …" Rachel added.

"It was during those two years of memories that I came to realize that I was in love with this woman and she had fallen in love with me after Finn's death … There's a lot more to the story but the fact of the matter is … We are definitely in love … definitely married and plan to be together until death do us part" Kurt finished.

"So does anyone have any questions?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah if you have two years with additional memories … what Powerball numbers should I play?" said Noah Puckerman.

"If I knew that we would have done that already Puck …" Kurt said with a grin.

The rest of the evening went on with as much joy, laughter and song that the pair could encourage out of their guests … by the time they all had left Kurt and Rachel began the clean up … enjoying the company of each other.

It would be a couple months later that the pair found out that they were indeed expecting a child … and later on September 23, 2014 they gave birth to a little girl who they named Rose Elizabeth Hummel-Berry … Rose after the character that Barbra Streisand played in the movie The Mirror has Two Faces … and Elizabeth after Kurt's mother …

It would be a couple years later when they were contacted by Will Schuester regarding the Glee Club needing a place to stay during their NYC trip to Nationals … but that is another story.

**THE END?**


End file.
